What Is Family Mediation?

Family mediation is a confidential process in which a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps family members (usually parents) resolve conflicts and find solutions to issues they have been unable to reach agreements to on their own. Mediation is commonly used in situations such as a new separation or divorce, as well as ongoing parenting or child custody disputes.

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The mediator will meet individually with each parent to get to know them and learn about their individual situation and perspective on the conflict, and what they are seeking as an outcome. The mediator may provide some coaching to each parent on how to most effectively present their views during negotiation meetings. 

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The mediator will then design a process for joint mediation sessions based on what will ensure each participants safety and comfort. Joint sessions may happen together and in person in the same room, they may happen virtually, or they may occur through "shuttle" mediation, where the parents do not have direct contact and the mediator acts as a "go-between" during discussions and negotiation. 

 

During the joint sessions the mediator will help parents set an Agenda for the session and ensure that each person has an equal opportunity to express their concerns and their interests. The mediator will ensure that the needs and best interests of the children are kept at the forefront of process. The mediator will work to de-escalate conflict, identify common goals, and explore possible solutions as parents work towards mutually acceptable agreements.

 

During this process the mediator intervenes to promote understanding and effective decision-making among family members, and to interrupt damaging patterns of communication which can continue to escalate and prolong conflict.

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Following each joint mediation session, the mediator will prepare a "Progress Note" which will be sent to each participant to highlight the work that has been done and clarify what still remains. At the conclusion of the joint sessions the mediator will prepare a document called a "Mediation Report" which will clearly set out the issues discussed, the agreements made, and the plan going forward. This Mediation Report can then easily be translated into a legally binding agreement if this is what parents want, or it can be used just as it is.